a new chapter

2009-09-18T17:31:00.001+08:00

I want to run away so i don't have to hurt people's feelings that will hurt me more eventually. This is the time.

Welcome to my life.

2009-09-04T15:31:00.003+08:00

A Cinderella Story..

With that dress and heels, like you've always wanted.
With the tears and heart pains, knowing that you will always hold my hand and walk with me through anything.
Somehow it makes me feel right, really right beside you.

I'm still alive and not kicking.

2009-08-24T22:15:00.000+08:00

I know, I know. It's been forever since i last updated.

Life's been, nice. Not to what i wanted, and expected, but it was enough to put a smile on my face for awhile, at least. Friends, have been fine i guess. Have not been meeting them for quite awhile. Hopefully, we can catch up during this fasting month. I need to get a job fast to occupy my time and divert my mind. I've got alot of editing(s) to do, but i just can't seem to bring my hands to it. It feels like i'm being forced to do it. Mum hinted me to bring up the family business. I've always got problems with commitments. So there goes all the chance.

I need to sort my mind soon, I need to get occupied soon.

Rai, you'll be fine. Don't worry about it. Miss you and Prees.

Odd.

2009-08-01T22:36:00.000+08:00

Whenever i feel like this, i always feel like there's nobody in the world.
It's the first of August. I would write a whole list of my wishes for my birthday, but nothing motivates me now. I want to have a good August. I didn't really start the month well. I'll be very much feel contented if it ends well.

Why am i feeling this way?

Black Monday.

2009-07-20T16:57:00.002+08:00

This is the time when I feel that there is only me in the world.
I know what i have to do.
I'm not putting it to the mood swings.

Note to self: You gotta understand them, Nisa.

Birthdayysssss!

2009-07-06T22:03:00.001+08:00

Happy Birthday Love!

♥

Happy 16th Sister!

I know you're getting older,

please don't get too mentel ok?

♥

A little story to tell.

2009-07-02T17:07:00.001+08:00

A little of this and that.
Everything roams around the same place.
Talking about the heart,
i just have to understand sometimes.

You'll know what to do nysa..

That's Holiday for me.

2009-06-28T22:48:00.007+08:00

BBQ

2009-06-04T15:42:00.003+08:00

Thoughts

2009-05-25T19:32:00.002+08:00

Alright. Here's a quick one.

Last week of May. I expect things to go just as fine. One tough weekend down, thanks to it, my whole body is aching now. I am now waiting for a call. Holidays are next week. I am so looking forward to it. 3 weeks of drillings and whacking of walls in the house. Just 3 more weeks and it'll look as good as new. My 2 weeks of holidays seems full. New project's up, 2 teams going out for that particular weekend. I feel breathless now. Thinking about all this makes me wanna jump down. Data flow etc. Itinerary, proposal, activities and the tough one, executing.

I still don't feel good. I'm not sure how long more i can bear this feeling. It's killing me softly.

For now, i'm gonna bathe. Take a super nice shower, fill my stomach and start worrying about all these again. How interesting is my life.

Stuck with you.

2009-05-18T23:13:00.001+08:00

Sick oh Sick.

2009-05-05T20:57:00.004+08:00

Bloody antibiotics made me weak eventhough i don't have any fever. Told Sister and Fat bro that i was home and craving for bubble tea and Mcspicy with cheese (YumYumYum!). Fat bro bought Milk Tea (yeay!). Love's out jamming. Dad's playing soccer, and Fat bro just sms-ed him my (or rather our cravings) for Mcspicy with Cheeseee. FYP and bloody Gardenia field trip tmr. Now i better get well soon and less pain please or i'll have to get referral letter which is oh-so-mahfan. Second week and i'm ponning and skipping school. Gotta remind Love about his appeal. I feel so useless now and people have been bugging me to eat medicines. Irritating but thank you very much for reminding me.

Now Love better call me when he gets home and sing me a song while strumming his guitar so that i can get well soon-ish!

Muahahahahahaha!

I'm hungry but no appetite. Baik peeeee!

Hypnotized

2009-04-27T23:21:00.002+08:00

I would if i could.

How does it feel like?

2009-04-24T13:23:00.001+08:00

How does it feel like?

Having to know that your friends are avoiding “You” just because they know that “You” have somebody new to rely on. Someone new to be exact. Definitely friends are much more precious as “You” know them longer than this someone new. How does “You” know about this? “You” have feelings too, she’s human too, just like you. She knows that the gap given to her is not sincere, doesn’t mean that having someone new will distant her with her friends. But right now, “You” has friends who are doing that.

But, how would you feel if you’re in the position of this “You”?

Besides this, “You” is having a very tough time now.

Are you, as a friend, gonna be there for “You”?

Looking back, “You” would rather be living in a world that nobody knows her. Alone.

Raindrops falling on my head.

2009-04-18T13:38:00.001+08:00

There will always be a point of time when you just feel like crying and break down because you can’t take it anymore.

This is the time.

My surroundings became silent suddenly and all you could hear were footsteps of people walking pass you. Checking their identities before letting them into the class, ensuring that there are no intruders. For goodness sake, there is a signage written there ‘NO ENTRY’. As simple as that. Call themselves undergraduates. Attitude sucks, even a kid knows how to read. And when said, they ignored. Where did they put their brains? Oh! Up their asses!

How did I start my morning? It went well at first with the phone call and the lovely breakfast that grandma made. Just when I thought it would be a great day, fuck. It’s so obvious that the trust was not there. I was definitely disappointed badly. I wanted to keep it to myself but I know I can’t. I foresee that more of these are coming my way.

Where was I again?

Oh, standing alone.

Urgh

2009-04-16T22:08:00.002+08:00

!@#$#$%%45234@#$@#%43543@$%$!

Missing you, Love.

2009-04-14T22:26:00.002+08:00

One of a kind.
Never i felt this way.
Cause with every kiss and hug,
You make me fall in love.
The hearts are all over the world tonight.
With you.

I'm telling myself i'll be fine, i'll be fine. Hopefully i'm really gonna be fine.

Devils.

2009-04-07T18:43:00.004+08:00

What About Now - Daughtry

Are we ever gonna make it right?
I could feel the love and pain in you.

I will.

2009-04-02T22:01:00.001+08:00

(Credits: Carenza)

Will you love me tomorrow?

I've been longing and shagged.

2009-03-22T22:31:00.004+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-Xg3MhpfwY&feature=related

I need a massage. I need a massage. I need a massage. My head is spinning. I'm feeling jelly all over. I want to lie down, enjoy the day without any rush, deadlines to rush. I need a massage. I need a massage. I need a massage. My head is spinning.

I want to eat bbq stingray, i want to eat cockles. Urghhhhhhh. Forget it, i'm never gonna get it.

Telling myself i'll be fine.

2009-03-21T22:56:00.004+08:00

At this point of time, i feel like throwing everything away and care about nothing. Other people's worry becomes my worry. The everyday routine have been tiring me. 7 days a week, without breaks. My legs are all jelly, my fingers are full of wounds and plasters, my brain start to make a springy effect the moment i stepped into the place, my heart sinks when there's nothing to look forward to the next day after a tiring day, i can't be the me when i'm around my favourite people and love.

Too tired for all this...

Telling myself that i can do this, endure.

I need a break. Too late i guess.

Disturbed.

2009-03-17T22:25:00.002+08:00

I don't know what to do now, i'm confused, i feel wrong.

Tough times.

2009-03-16T23:54:00.001+08:00

The stress i'm having is probably affecting everyone. I feel so bad about it. But at the same time, i have to make a stand. Hope you guys understand.

Beyonce - Halo

2009-03-14T21:19:00.002+08:00

I got the 10th yesterday. Wondering how many surprises will i get in a week!? Pleasantly surprised :)

It's been long since i blogged properly. First, i didn't blogged anything about KL. It's a lil late for me to say this, but it was definitely a blast! We're gonna do it again, that's for sure. This time with more people.

So you see, what do you call friends for? Knowing that i'll always put friends first, it's pretty clear that they get the priorities first. Then you talk about defining friends to me. Friends can be alot, but which are the ones whom you treasure the most. Even if you don't get to see them frequently doesn't mean that, they've forgotten about you, don't bother about how you're doing, or even avoiding you. If only, i can split myself into two. Perhaps that would be happy for others. If only you know how i/we felt. Friends are easy to find. But do you know how to treasure them? Think about it, friend.

It's amazing how you can get into me, and the level of patience. If only... If only...

Hot!

2009-03-10T23:42:00.000+08:00

I want that Hot Stuff.

Hmmmm.

2009-03-02T00:31:00.000+08:00

When RockBand2 becomes more important, this is what happens.

Terrible, terrible.

Pillar of strength.

2009-02-26T00:29:00.003+08:00

That kind of happiness which is rare. When you see rainbows, flowers blooming to your smile. How does it feel like? And you know that there is a pillar of strength standing by you. Giving you all the attention, the love that you yearned for. The rest, doesn't matter anymore. But when the existing starts to fade away, something that i thought never felt right. Was i too ignorant to all these, just because of this change.

I just want to feel right in whatever i do. But to make this happen, i'll have to work it out. Everybody, everything. Something that i want to be kept and smile about it. Worrying has always been a part of it. But with this pillar of strength, i knew, everything's gonna be alright, together.

For all the love, thank you darling.

Midnight Glory

2009-02-22T00:49:00.002+08:00

This was what i did at the stroke of midnight.
Aahhhhh, i'm starting to smell it!

I'll be right here with you.

2009-02-19T15:07:00.001+08:00

Rai! Let's make our 'angan- angan' come true!

Love.

2009-02-15T13:09:00.003+08:00

I love the way how my Saturday ended.

Damn Calendars

2009-02-14T21:38:00.003+08:00

How was your Valentine's?
Obviously i didn't celebrate. But, someone just decided to wake me up from my beauty sleep (*looks at Amal*) and dragged me out for dinner. So i did, was definitely tempted to get that dress too.

Whatever it is, i'm gonna end my Saturday well.

Enjoy the last few minutes of your Saturday darlings!

I'm very sure that i hate the sight of my calendar.

Thoughts

2009-02-09T11:40:00.002+08:00

And so, where have i been? Hmmm. I was wondering too. Holidays aren't holidays afterall. Ok, maybe some parts of it is a yes. Ah dammit. Everything's a mess now. I feel like throwing everything away and just be with me, just me, alone.

Plus, this uncertain feeling is not helping either. It's nice to know that someone will always be there for you, support you no matter what you want to do. But, how can you ever return that favour? Ever thought about it?

Something to think about.

I'll post overdue pictures soon, soon.

Terrible, terrible, terrible.

2009-02-02T07:05:00.002+08:00

It's already February. Why does time pass so fast?
7.06am on the clock. I still feel terrible, from last night.
I really feel terrible. Hopefully Hotcakes would cheer me up later.
Then, "helllloooooo" sentry duties.

Now just bear with me while i make a big
Urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
I still feel terrible.

Shortcuts

2009-01-19T23:42:00.011+08:00

I'll update properly soon. Can't seem to blog nowadays. And! I miss my babes! :(

Mama..

2009-01-12T23:00:00.001+08:00

I asked again, Where's Mama?

No doubt

2009-01-05T21:50:00.001+08:00

Broke down.
I really did this time.

Happy New Year!

2009-01-01T08:40:00.005+08:00

I made a wish before the midnight strike.
I made a list for the new year.
I love the company.
I can't feel the excitement of the new year yet.

Definitely, it could be better.

To All,
Happy 2009!
May the year ahead be blissful for you!

for now, i better get some sleep (eventhough the sun is up!) and read the book that i just bought.
Have a great day ahead lovelies!

Quick update!

2008-12-28T23:55:00.001+08:00

I've updated about the outing with the Happy pills.

It's here!

This little part that you don't know

2008-12-26T00:49:00.002+08:00

"Cause you were Romeo, I was a Scarlet Letter
And my Daddy said stay away from Juliet"

Pictures!

2008-12-17T01:03:00.002+08:00

WARNING: If you think that MY pictures are going to sore your eyes, i suggest you take your leave now.
Loads of pictures ahead. I really mean ALOT.

That was my holiday for December. Really was a good one, away from everything. Just what the whole family needed. My mum asking me to plan for next year's June trip already as this one was totally last minute, that only 2 cars went. So i was thinking of sun, sea and sand for the next trip ok Mama? She has to start saving already, then i can forget about my iMac already. Hmph. The best thing about going on holiday with your family is that, i don't even have to fork out a single cent. That's great isn't it? Ok, i should be feeling blessed that i can go on holidays while some can't. I'm still considering on an adventure kinda thing for the next trip. This time round i'm gonna drag all the aunts and lazy uncles to do all the things, be it water sports or whatever. Ok, i'm starting to sound so evil. But nevermind, i still will drag them. Muahahaha! I think i'm so family oriented. I'm happy, that's all you have to know. And, i've been eating alot, shopping alot. This is what i've always hated about holidays.

I really need to replenish my sleep soon. But i feel like baking. The ulcers i'm having is not helping. Urgh, this is irritating. Enough blabbering here, thanks for wasting your time to read till this last sentence. Appreciate it alot. Heh

Tell me i'll be fine.

2008-12-15T23:15:00.003+08:00

Just when i thought that Mr Sun would be kind enough to shine on me, the rain just have to come to make the sky grey. Helpless. This is when i know i need someone to be with me all the time, telling me everything is gonna be fine.

Pictures!

2008-12-10T22:16:00.003+08:00

This is what happens when it's raining and the waiting time is longggggggggggg.

The Kambingssss.

This is what we do while waiting.

Spot the double chin! No prizes for guessing.

Memori 'daun' payung. Romantic la sangatt!

Look at lil bro's face! He was scared that he was told to touch the kambing first.

Twins? Many said yes.

The lil one.

His shirt says "If you think i'm handsome, you should see my daddy!". Obviously i laughed at the daddy.

The birthday cake. Thanks to me and photoshop Din's face have no pimples, if not people won't want to eat.

The excited faces.

And lastly....

I made this boy cry! hahahaha!

Better post this time huh. Enough of pictures already. Now i can't wait for the weekend! :D and boy, you've got mail!

when your butt feels tighter

2008-12-07T23:54:00.004+08:00

This may sound strange, but the sudden urge of blogging is there. I love Sundays now, because ehem Amal and Ida should know why, something i'm capable of that many don't know. I'm feeling extremely happy. Probably i started my day by making Grandma happy accompanying her to the market.

I can't believe tomorrow's Hari Raya Aidiladha. Alot of errands to do tomorrow, collect cake, meet Amal for her video thingy. I'm planning to stay up to finish up the edits, but i think i'm just gonna fall asleep in front of the deskstop.

Before i end this entry,
Happy Belated Birthday HAIKAL!
Happy Birthday to TINA!
Happy Advanced Birthday DIN!

Friends or Lovers

2008-12-05T22:40:00.004+08:00

It suddenly got me thinking. Who are friends and how are they treated. Tell me who likes to be spoil a friendship. It's built so nicely and suddenly because of this one small thing, it changed everything. This is the only thing that scares my ass off. I'm really scared of this. There is a difference between friends and lovers. I'm in a difficult position without you seeing it.

The last thing that i want to do now is to lay on bed with messy hair, shut down my phone (if that's possible), blast my favourite dance music, read my bitchy book, not caring about anyone, not answering any calls then cry. I feel lonely all over again.

ps: the picture has nothing to do with what i wrote. If you terase at my post, i think you better call me soon, cause i have something to tell you.
pps: i really covered my double chin!~

Up and Down

2008-12-02T18:27:00.002+08:00

We both know, it's best if we let it go..

Here comes December. I spent my first day of December rather differently, of course it started with me coming in late for class. I gotta change that la. But somehow, something is pulling me back. I was wide awake the whole night and only managed to get sleep at pathetic 7 am. Suddenly it felt so good to be home the whole day.

You know, everytime i want to blog, i'll be out of words. Those words won't come out. Maybe it's not supposed to be shared here. Maybe i'm still in the state of confusion. Maybe. I seriously think i need to runaway from all these. Hoping by the time i come back everything will be alright. Or maybe dance everything out? I love Contemporary dance! Gonna look forward to it. At least something is making me happy.

Feeling pathetic, not sure where to start even for the simplest thing and everything's messed up. Ever felt that way? That's how i feel now.

Sandaran Hati

2008-11-27T20:00:00.001+08:00

A hug, a kiss on my forehead
and tell me everything's gonna be fine.

Weak

2008-11-26T21:54:00.002+08:00

I feel weird! I feel sick! I don't want to get sick!
Damn those medicine, i hate it!
Urgh!

I wish, i wish, it was true..

2008-11-25T23:34:00.006+08:00

Perhaps a change for the direction of the wind. Ah! Finally, i'm updating. Put aside the fact that i'm having school. Dreading it, but i'm having Mac's breakfast tmr, having my Wednesdays lunch with the girls :D

This may be another of my random nonsense, so if you don't mind, otherwise, get off.

So yea, it got me thinking, who are my true friends. No doubt that as the days goes by, i have this weird feeling that my circle of friends is getting smaller, more to hi-bye kind of friends. So sad to think about it. But i think it's unavoidable. It's part of life don't you think so?

I'm curious, who reads my blog. Yea, it's a blog, so it's expected that random people whom i don't know would just drop by and read this little part of my life. If you're kind enough, leave a tag.

Cause i'm different here, different too when you see me. I'm the kind of person who smokes through as well (if you get what i mean).

& dear bf, will do (: don't worry..

Tears of joy

2008-11-17T18:01:00.002+08:00

The toughest weekend, late nights, delicious food and great company. What a fabulous family gathering! I'm pretty sure it's all worth every sweat.

I looked back, and i could not recognise you. It's weird being you. There's a possibility that i would feel the same. You got me hypnotised and mesmerized. Why do i keep running away from the truth? It has a deeper meaning.

Tagged!

2008-11-14T00:35:00.005+08:00

I was tagged by dear Attica about my 10 random things. So here goesss! Those people on my target list; YOU BETTER DO! Muahahah!

1. I don't smile. I seriously don't.
2. I don't like people to push me to do work.
3. I can spend my whole weekend sleeping.
4. I've got a feeling i'm getting fatter. (I think i already am)
5. I can spend and spend without thinking.
6. I spend more on friends than my Bf (if there's one that is)
7. I can't stop eating.
8. I can be very random, many knew that.
9. I can smoke through my life away
10. I've got a secret!

My targets are:
Rai, Qissy, Idano, Reena, Nasha, Fadilah, Zuran, Fynn, Christine, Amiza

I'm not sure if they are gonna read this post, but if you do and your name is there, better do ah! Haha.

It never hurt this much before.

2008-11-13T18:30:00.001+08:00

You know what is the most beautiful thing ever. I felt that it’s life. Look at it. There are many things that we are able to do. Every day, every hour, every minute, every second. What leads into our lives are taught to be challenges. Every little thing that you do might just change your life forever. Yes, it’s true that you’ll never know when you’ll leave this beautiful world. Thus that leads to the meaning of life, how would you appreciate this life of yours.

There are people you love; there are those whom you hate so much. Family, friends and enemies. Every day when I reach the doorstep, stepped into the house, I’ll feel loved. They are the ones that will never leave you no matter what happens, they are the ones that will support me no matter what my decision is. If there were to be a time when I really need help, I know who I can turn to. Friends, they are the people that I’ll look forward to. They made the days in school, studying, playing so much more enjoyable. They can be the one whom you share your sorrows too.

As I’m sitting here, pondering, I felt very much contented with what I have, as for now. Sometimes, it’s the needs and not the wants that made you happy. The wants might just the luxury that one can have.

Sitting down, waiting, and enjoying my favourite drink, watching others doing their routines have never been better. Thinking about all these, just made me tear. Never did I felt this before, blessed. Probably, I’ve mentioned this before; it’s the little things in life that made it as beautiful as it is.

It hurts so much for this to happen. I don’t wish for history to repeat itself. It definitely hurts..

Wishes and wishes..

2008-11-12T17:31:00.003+08:00

Alright! It's kinda weird for me to blog at this time. Heh. I'm here to make some wishes!

(11 November)
Happy Belated Anniversary to Mama & Paps!
Happy Belated Birthday Christine dearrrrrr!
(12th November)
Happy 18th Birthday Nashaaa!

And I bumped into Fully at school with his rock hand sign, apparently for some huntings recommended by Rozey. Guys guys..

On a different note...
Now, I miss those crapping sessions. I seriously think that I spend more on my friends than my Bf. Don't you think so? ~ I'm loving angels instead.

When hearts combined..

2008-11-10T00:44:00.002+08:00

Some things that would probably enlighten certain people.

I hate November, before anybody jump into any conclusions, let me tell you why..

There are projects throughout the whole month.
Cousin's getting married is not helping. (I'm happy that she's getting married, can't stand her!)
I'll keep complaining, and i can hear Rai chanting that Two Letters.
I hate the fact that i keep spending on unnecessary stuffs.
I want to go on food galore, but i can't with the tight schedule.
I can't go on dates, again on tight schedule. (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)
I hate tight schedules. (3 days to settle one thing is not enough! grr)

There, enough reasons? I hate it when people jump into conclusions and telling people the wrong stories. The real fact is that they don't even know a single thing on what's happening. For goodness sake, get the real thing before you talk. Even if you talk, i couldn't care less. Come on tell me, if you want to know what's happening, open your mouth and ask, don't just go around making stories. Bet you won't like it too, if others were to do the same thing. Knock some sense into your head, please! Plus, with that kind of age, you ought to be mature. Sadly, you're not. Urgh, getting on my nerves.

Anyway, I miss my friends alot. I've not been socialising (ehem!). I want my breakfast date, dinner date, shopping date, Karaoke date. Arghh.. Soon, soon.. Patience is a virtue.

Smiles that creates miracle

2008-11-03T23:10:00.006+08:00

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that
wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will.

You will have your heart broken probably more than once and
it's harder every time.

You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt
when yours was broken.

You'll fight with your best friend.
You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.

You'll cry because time is passing too fast,
and you'll eventually lose someone you love.

So take too many pictures, laugh too much,
and love like you've never been hurt

because every sixty seconds you spend upset
is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

Don't be afraid that your life will end,
be afraid that it will never begin.

"Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose."

~From the television show The Wonder Years

**These are the words that kept me smiling the whole day. Good things are meant to be shared, hope it did made you smile too..

Time to spread some love

2008-10-22T22:26:00.001+08:00

Time to spread some love.
*breaths*

Somebody's me

2008-10-19T12:35:00.006+08:00

Someone in your heart.
Someone you'd never know is right.

Procrastinating

2008-10-17T00:44:00.003+08:00

Alright here goes, i'm supposed to be reading the things in the ICA page, but once i start reading i'll get tempted to click on the sprees page and there i go. I just finished the project which was due last week, yes, last week. I finished it in half an hour! WOO! I'm suppose to go and register at the dental place, but i'm procrastinating. Demo tape is waiting for me to start. It's been months. I've not started a single thing. Presentation in less than 2 weeks. What am i doing here!?!?! I haven't even started yet! I've yet to mail out my schedule too. I don't know where to start and i want it to end fast.

Holidays aren't holidays afterall. I'm procrastinating ALOT! I want to shop, but i sayang my money so much. I wonder whyyyyy i keep spending but suddenly it felt different.

Ah! I'd better start at this ungodly hour.

Yes! I can finish all that by tonight!

Contented

2008-10-10T16:10:00.000+08:00

How about waking up to the morning breeze without the usual feelings that you always have? Eventhough you know that the day ahead will be torturous in school. Knowing that you've had an awesome day yesterday and you wished it never end. What's more to ask for when they're all you need to brighten up your day!? For some, it might be just a short one, but it makes a big difference to the rest. Definitely worth it for me to spend the time, pretty much contented. Nothing beats the company, the laughters, the nonsensical jokes, and not forgetting the food.

Selamat Hari Raya

2008-10-08T23:42:00.003+08:00

First and foremost, Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir dan Batin.
& Happy Belated 11th Little Brother.
I love you so much! (:
Happy Belated to Cousin!
Shall now reveal your age. Ehem!

It's been tough. And, i can't possibly put it in words.

Take care.

Long post.

2008-09-28T22:45:00.003+08:00

Alright, i'll update about this week. Finally got to meet the Bollywood babe last Wednesday with Ida. It was refreshing indeed. We'll meet up soon again alright with the rest. Hope the plan that we talked about really work this time round. hehh! Some pictures! :D Long post, if you're not ready to see or read about me, get off.

Saturday was totally impromptu. But it was all worth it!

And not forgetting,

Happy Belated 18th to Preena & Raihana!

Definitely, i missed you so much dearest! Was glad that we met up that day. And, i do miss those times where the both of us would be thinking of how to cabot guides and all the funny stuffs. I want more chillaxin sessions with you! Many more to come alright! I love you!

To this darling of mine, like i said in the message, hope you enjoyed it. Anyway, it's all said in the message. So yea, glad that you had fun babe! Love ya too!

And oh, Happy Belated to Andy too!

That very much sums up all the September babies yea.

Now, let's side track a lil. F1 fever was in this weekend. Lewis Hamilton is damn cutee! I bet Ida is melting too right now. Hahah! Massa could have won the race, but it's alright. I didn't quite realise that the festive season is here in like 2 more days. Seriously, i'm never a fan of festive seasons, Raya too. The things that i look out for is the fun that we're gonna have with the Happy Pills gang. Hopefully, this year it will be one of those memorable ones too. Nothing can go wrong when were together, whatever's wrong, we'll still make it right. Maybe, this year could change this perspective of mine.

Since i was out all Saturday, Mum decided to throw me with whole pile of house work. And knowing me, i'm not the kind of those who will do this kind of things during the times when it's really needed. I'll do it, but at certain times, or you can call it, it very much depends on the mood that comes and go. So, when someone starts telling me to do this and that, i'll definitely procastinate. If i'm told once, it's still ok, but if it's repeated, the more i'll get aggitated, and the result will be nothing. Yea, i can't be a housewife, so my husband has to be a person who is capable of doing this kind of stuffs. (Hahahahaha!)I know, i know, what are you guys thinking. These jobs are supposed to be handled by the ladies, but i think in this modern world, your mind has to be changed a lil and get into the real world NOW. If you get what i meant that is. Our generation are much of a big difference, put that to the top of the list.

I've yet to clean my room, my table is in a great mess. Fancy having your little sister nagging at you to clean up fast. Yea, she gets the advantage of not doing many things as she has exams and being sick. It's okayy, i'll close both eyes. The boys was never a help. Dreadful! I was thinking of skipping Monday's class as Tuesday will be a holiday. But the elective test has to be in Monday. How sad. I'm gonna have to drag my legs to school tomorrow. No fun at all. But at least i'll get to meet my darlings. (: That day, once i received the email, i got all excited and started planning and flipping through my calendar to match the dates, but sadly, most of it clashes, another heart breaking moment. HAH!

Have you ever felt that one time this person always checks on you and then the next he/she gone like the wind?
Have you ever felt that everything is against you and for some reasons, the world is doomed in no time?
Have you ever felt that the voice in you said that yes, he/she's the one i should be dialling up now but to no extend, you had no guts to do it?
Have you ever felt that everything's all worth it, seeing all the people smiling but deep inside you're crying you heart out?

I'm definitely not referring to anyone in particular. But if any of my words here is affecting you in a way or another, i've warned you earlier. Padan muke, ku tak heran.

Ida is very jealous of me, Amal and Rai. Muahahhaa! We'll bring you there soon ok! (:

I made a wish at 11.11pm just now.

Hurt.

2008-09-24T01:00:00.003+08:00

"we were broken up!"
"so what dan! it hurt!"
"what did you expect?"
"i loved you"
"and because we broke off doesn't mean i could just turn it off just like that!"

If this is how you want to play the game, then i'll set the rules.

Nothing beats the Happy Pills company :D

Life's Good

2008-09-21T16:45:00.002+08:00

As i was contemplating whether i should or should not, i decided not to. Indeed, i took the right step. Never will i regret it. All we could do was plan, and pray hard that it'll turn out as what we want it to be, or well at least, make the best out of it. Heh. Life's been great at least for now. What's there to complain about? You've got to make the best out of it.

Seriously, i'm not sure what am i talking about. Current situation, definitely not in the correct state of mind. But for sure i know, it'll all get healed soon. Just a matter of time.

I need some sugar, spice and everything nice! Let's see, caramel milk tea with mini pearls, cheesecake, lovely company, dearest camera, and loads of laughter might do just as well! Perfect!

Misses

2008-09-16T22:30:00.003+08:00

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.

Fire rushing to my head.
Cryptically..

"What song reminds you of the ex?"
HAHAHAHA okayy, not funny. But I can't stop laughing.

Happy pills.

2008-09-14T23:17:00.006+08:00

My happy pills, you guys really made my Saturday! Would be much nicer if everybody's there. Can't deny i'm still disappointed. Thanks for the surprise, me and Rai didn't expect it, though i could guess from Amal's action (she can never lie! must learn from the pro(s) huh babe. hahah!).

Credits to Ida for the last picture. Cuteeeee! hahaha!

In the blink of an eye, there you go. It's so awkward now. Terribly is. It's those little words that i've always yearned to make my day. I've been wanting that i will never get. It's just weird.

14 days have past, 16 more to go. Embrace it.

Once in a lifetime.

2008-09-07T22:48:00.004+08:00

I know, i haven't been updating. I've been somewhere else. I've got loads of pictures to share. But, i think i'm pretty lazy now. Heh. Aden called and asked me whether i'm free or not. Ahh! It's so depressing to get that kind of calls you know! :( Nevermind, i shall patiently wait for October to come. Sigh.

A week of the fasting month have gone. Three more weeks to go and there you have it, Hari Raya before you know it (: This is one month where you can really sit down as a whole family for break fast and enjoy all the benefits that are being spreaded out. Perhaps for a change, try having a day off and spend the time with your family. It's for the better somehow. And that cause, i'll never know if this is going to be the last Ramadhan.

For now, i'll endure all this "sufferings" and i'll keep on wishing, wishing and wishing. Meanwhile, Selamat menjalani ibadah puasa. (:

Pardon the skin tone of mine and the eyebags, can't blame, i was under the sun all the time. Darkest among all. Gulpsss!

You, the one i've nvr thought.

2008-08-30T18:48:00.002+08:00

I thought i would not have anything to write about. But the past days have been fun but tiring. Having delivery man coming into some ulu place in the middle of the night as the rest of us was hungry. I'm not sure why, all that in my mind was you. You, having what i've always wanted. You keep on telling me to smile and don't be stress every time you pass me, never thought that was the last of you. I'm missing you already. You never knew. There was a few occasions when you caught me staring at you. All i did was turned away, as if nothing happened. What was i thinking. The dance that we did together, the gossips we shared in the middle of the kids, having you as my partner, and you giggling at my blurness. The last goodbye, i didn't even dare to turn to you and say goodbye. What was i thinking again.

I remember last night, you with two more others;
"You know what, if you want us to acc you sleep, we can you know"
"No no no, she don't want you, she only wants, me myself and i.."

Maybe that was really the last of you.
Naz.
I've never felt this way for the past 8 months.

I'll remember you.

Birthday!

2008-08-19T22:42:00.006+08:00

And so how did i spend my birthday? I shall say that it could have been better, really. It's not that i expected something, but the expected was really unexpected. Okay, it's human nature. What can i do right? Just that i spend my day attending briefings after briefings. From Sembawang to Clarke Quay and the ride home alone, was nice for awhile.

My morning started with the phone ringing in my ear. Yes, practically into my ear. Thanks to aunt, for the wish and also the wake up call. Just when i thought i could get a little more sleep, you just had to wake me up and rush me through. When she said,
"Nysa! Wake up already not?! Faster wake up, go take your camera, we go to Danish's school!",
I was still in my wonderland la please! So i just clumsily replied,
"Haven't la, now what time only, it's holiday please!" And when she heard that, she totally screamed at me!
"Faster wake up go bathe, i pick you up at 915!" And so i just said...
"Now, what time?" Another scream came by..
"845 already laaaa!" I jumped out of bed and quickly bathe!
She made me kanchiong spider i tell you!!

After having breakfast and picked up the little boy from school, she sent me home and off i went to meet darling Tina (Thank you Rain & Tina for the sweet present)! Was so happy to meet her, and she managed to make a fixed decision for me to cut my hair. I was indecisive as i feel so sayang you knoww! But in the end i did, had some teh peng and off to meet Larra, the ah beng! Briefings after briefings and off home as Mum kept calling cause the cake gonna cair already. -.-"

And not forgetting, a BIG THANK YOU for those wished me, be it via, sms, msn, tags, your blog posts and to the only call i got.

I'll update more when i'm back and not tired to post pictures. This is all i'll put up for now. Now, i better go pack my bag. Anybody wanna give me a wake up call at 6am. Yes, bloody 6AM! Grrr! Movie on friday, anybody?

Happy 5th birthday, Little Cousin!
See you on Saturday Darling!

And Mum chose Pink, when i don't favour it that much!

Sorry for the blur and ugly pose! (Gulpss!)

Was there, but never there.

2008-08-17T12:13:00.002+08:00

A wish that i'll never get.

Anticipated.

Ego

2008-08-12T22:59:00.002+08:00

Why oh why did i start the post with that picture? Cause i'm in the middle and it's half of Fynn's and Christ's face! MUAHAHA! And i look, dead. Finally it's break time! I'm so glad, but at the same time, MY AUGUST REALLY SEEMS TO BE PACKED! Okayy, i hate that idea, but it's good afterall. I've got loads to post, but i couldn't be bothered to load everything from my beloved hard disk, so next time! I'm depressed for a moment. Paranoid the next. Still paranoid and it's haunting me.

I am waiting although i was never there. So why bother?

Damn this ego shiatts that is getting on the highest peak!

For all that i've ever known.

2008-08-08T23:59:00.003+08:00

Alright, Mum decided to bring Dad and lil brother to Bintan. I'm missing lil brother now, didn't get to see both Mum and Dad too. Nevermind about it. Anyway, whatever the thing is, it's getting on my nerves. Yes, on my freaking nerves. I'm laughing but partially i'm screaming too.

Bring me to Ice Cream anyone, i'll be fine then.

Hopefully breakfast tmr works. Sighhh..

Oh, did i tell you that i'm hurt when i saw it? Now you know.

Story of us all.

2008-08-06T00:35:00.005+08:00

I'm supposed to be doing my work but why did i ended up here, i'm not sure. You see, i've got loads to tell now, but apparently it's gone with the wind (padahal takde angin pon). I want another gateway. Pronto! But, looking at situations now, it's impossible. I need to get a new watch, yes the one that i've been eyeing for but mum said with me doing back to back and soon enough it'll all get scratches all over. I need to get a bag too. Guess have nice bags and aunt just got a new Gucci bag. It's silverish, too shiny i thought.

Wednesday is here! Breakfast with the cute lil grandma. I feel like self declaring my holidays already. Should i do it on Friday or Monday? I shall think about it. I want to start on my poster soon, but i no nuts how to go about doing it. A whole shit of crap was accepted. Gulps!

Dearest Little One,

What should we have this year? Barney's out of the list since we had that last year. Your mummy said Strawberry Shortcake. I'm not sure what's up with that. Don't tell me you want Batman. I've got no idea what we should get this year. It's nearing, hopefully your mummy will have plans. I can't be bothered. Let's just go with the flow shall we? Don't worry, you'll get to blow all the candles, as usual.

Love!Love!

And now, i shall hit the sacks. It's calling my name.

Good night! Have a nice day ahead on a beautiful Wednesday! (:

Pictures Galore

2008-08-04T17:28:00.006+08:00

The Holiday Pictures, sometime ago.

This was sometime ago, Sister's 15th Birthday.

Chocolate cream pies and Green Apple Milk Tea with Mini Pearls.

They called this Nysa Inspired. -.-"

Preview (:

Dinner + Supper!

OOP module (:

Christ look scary here! So white!

That was someee photos. A tedious one to resize everything. It lies beautiful memories.

It's amazing how someone can make you smile even when you're at your worst. No matter how slack you look with faces full of tiredness and the never ending complains that made you whine over and over again, he'll still make you smile. The one who will always be there for you wherever and you know it. It's strange how someone whom you never expect be the one who understands you the most. Being the one who always show a total opposite of yourself to others, the egoistic side of you and never want people to know your weaknesses is really hard. Nobody ever understands, except him. Only You know the truth.

Kaulah sandaran hati.

Short short update.

2008-08-03T23:08:00.004+08:00

Alright! I'll update a little since I haven't been updating for long. Here's a preview of what I've been up to. Hopefully more in the next post. (:

Surprise me at my door when midnight strikes.
Enough of that it's-you-that-I-miss nightmare.

2008-07-27T23:04:00.003+08:00

With a little twist this time. Little changes do affect, if you ever realise that. All that in life has been linked to one other. Perfection is namely scarce. Try to interpret it.

If only Life is as beautiful as the Garden. I don't particularly love flowers but it drew my attention into deep thoughts. Avoiding wars and peace, contradicting. Interestingly, it made me laugh. I would if i could.

Strangely enough, they are too good to be true. It will last, with memories frozen. I would if i could. Was never near even. It's the happiness that you're yearning for.

Time to go.

2008-07-26T00:33:00.003+08:00

For the whole day today, it was chilly. Planned to pon school and dirty the clean record with an 'x', which i did. The weather was really being nice that i see morning dews everywhere, though i only woke up in the afternoon. I'm still procrastinating. I need a push. I find that my posts nowadays are getting boring.

Just when I thought I'd gone and fixed it all again.
Just when I thought I'd gone and wrecked it all again.
I don't know why i ever waited to say.

Ahhh!

#101

2008-07-23T00:10:00.005+08:00

I'm not sure why i landed here. Rightt, of all places. Anyway, what's that picture for? It is actually evidence to show how bored we got during the last meeting. I drew her name with pretty flowers (which i don't think is pretty) and she drew mine for me, which was nicely done! (Claps) She was showing me faces because i was drawing flowers for her. We even played jigsaw puzzle online, we only stopped when the 6p came strolling in. By the time, we almost finished 80% of it. How cool! Haha! I think i really am evil. Not surprising at all. Life's a bitch. Yes, i can agree with Ayun on that. When someone told me that 'time won't heal', it really got me thinking. And, i really really really want to catch a movie. Many said that the dark knight was nice. Damn! Who's up?!

Good Morning everyone! Have a good Wednesday!

1 more month (:

2008-07-21T00:11:00.003+08:00

As I was chatting with the late bloomer, I think it's really hard for me to express things. Not surprising though. There's something i would like to tell. My weekends were great, with good food that is! I feel like vomiting after dinner. I don't like the idea that tomorrow's a Monday and there's school. No chance for me to cabot also as there will be test. Totally turned my Monday off! Despite the fact that I'm meeting the 3 ladies tomorrow morning and having Fynn same team as me, didn't help either. Saddening. The best thing is that, knowing there's test tomorrow and abang reminded me just now, I'm still procastinating and pushed 6p(s) aside. How great! Doom, doom, doom! I've been really laughing too much, i really think I am soo gonna cry soon.

Okayy, enough of complains, let's welcome the new week with a smile! :D

Have a great week ahead everyone!

xiang! xiang! xiang!

2008-07-18T14:39:00.005+08:00

Extracted from Christine, The Wolverine's blog:

"on the way back to class after getting
my cheesecake, fynn's pigtails[curly fries], sy's wedges...

Me: "I DONT WANT FYNN AS A FRIEND!!"
Nysa:"ME TOO!!"
Fynn:"WHYYWHYY IM NICE WHATT.."

me:"what would we like about fynn, hor nysa."
nysa enthuastically:" she's bisexual!!"

fynn and i went BLANK. NYSA WHAT DO YOU MEAN HURRRRRR..
i suspect she has a huge crush on fynn. hahahaa."

BAHAHAH! She JUST HAD TO DO THAT! I'm wondering what are you guys thinking now. HAHAHA. What's for revenge? Tickling her!

I know, I've not been updating as often. I want to post pictures but when I can't come out with nice posts to start with. I want to go watch movie! Ahh! Forget it, so much to do so little time.

And you wanna know what's funny? You! You are the one who makes it funny.

I've been laughing too much. I think I'm gonna cry soon.

I broke a glass and clashed it against my skin

2008-07-13T20:13:00.002+08:00

I'm not sure why i'm having this strange feeling. I'm telling myself that there's 4 more weeks to endure. 4 more weeks and there's tests going on, telling myself this time, i should really spend some time looking at the 6p(s) okayy, not look but particularly study them! Grrr! I hate the fact that i've started on pp but there's no motivation for me to continue doing it. I don't know why. I need to finish it asap! Whenever i want to start doing it, my mind will be somewhere else. It's totally not good at all. And why is the song '7 things i hate about you' just had to play while i'm typing all this!? Something's amiss. It feels like somthing is missing. Really! Grr!

Lastly, i'm telling myself that after 4 more weeks, it's august baby! I can finally put one thing at rest (hopefully!). Sadly, 4 more weeks and a WHOLE PILE of work is waiting for me on the table when i come home!

Sick sick sick sickening! Enlighten me please? Never felt this strange before.

:(

Birthday! Love!

2008-07-07T23:17:00.002+08:00

(Don't mind the pictures and pardon my face. Both taken from the previous and the recent holiday.)

And so, it was the Sister's birthday.
Happy 15th Birthday yaw!
Good Luck for your O level Malay!
You better score higher than me!
(Nysa rolls her eyes, tergolek2 till cannot golek alr!)
I know you like the Ice Cream Cake and the BBQ chicken!
Love ya loads! though you can go on nagging
non stop. I don't nag like you though :p

Sorry i can't upload the pictures from dear Mr Dslr. The reader died-ed on me, am gonna bug Dad like again. I feel that August is getting nearer. There'll be another one in August according to Dad. It's ok, i can do it! Thanks to Tina and Fynn cause i'm dancing now!

I feel sorry. I miss my friends like alot. I miss our laughters. I miss you guys telling me to shut up and stop my nonsense. I feel that there's a gap between us. Maybe i'm just the one feeling it. It's just not right for all of me. Something's inside our hearts that's yearning to be spoken out. I miss you babes like ALOT. I miss those time like how we used to be during our carefree days. I miss the times when our fathers would fetch us to school and we would bump into each other at the junction. I miss seeing the slenge-ness of every each one of us. I miss the time when are together just laughing at every single little details. I just miss us. Sighhh.. Guess, we're all are so caught up with our own routines, schedules, work, commitments, responsibilities, school, loved ones and more. Maybe i'm missing you guys too much.

It was so sudden of you to suddenly pour your hearts out in just a few sentences. I was stunned that it took me some time to react. Suddenly, suddenly, i feel you. I didn't have to lie to you. Somehow you'll know. I could feel it's for long.

I miss you, too much.

I wish i knew Love was cold.

2008-07-06T15:08:00.003+08:00

Trust.
There is no instinct like that of the heart.

A smile that will cover everything up. Everything's fine yo!

Runwaayyyy!

Broken like that..

2008-07-02T23:43:00.004+08:00

It may be simple but hard to mean. Palms on your chest and ask yourself.
Follow your heart, it'll lead you. Let the Sun shine, you'll feel it.
Don't let the Truth be too hard to hold. Don't be fooled easily, it might just be fake.

If only, you were to listen to my silence.

And it rained heavily, suddenly.

Have a great Thursday yo!
Andand, Happy 16th Cousin!
(:

Smile...

2008-07-01T01:29:00.000+08:00

Real Girl - Mutya Buena

Star karat!

2008-06-27T00:36:00.004+08:00

How about having to enter class like a star karat with more than half an hour late? I just did that today. And me being the star karat, my dear lappy had to become the victim to get the virus spreading. VIRUS IN MY DEAR (DAMN YOU!!) How unlucky. But for the sake of my team, i'll do anything. cheyy cheyyy! HAHAH!

And this is the joke of the day. Apparently i was assigned to the Preventions of Viruses, Trojan and whatever that has gotta do with it. While we were in our own worlds....

Christine: Fynn, give me a word
Fynn: (enthusiastically) Happy!
Christine: Nysa, give me a word
Nysa: Prevention!
Christine: Are you researching about Condom or something?!

!!!!!! I was laughing till i almost fell on the floor. Yes! I was researching but not THAT kind of researching! HAHA.

And the rest of the day was spent PSP-ing and dancing in the class. How's that for a Thursday? Nice! And i met the girls after sooooo long. I know, i know. My bad alright. I realised i didn't take any picture with Rai. :(

In between Rai's fingers and i'm bloody fat!

I want it to be done asap! BOOOOHOOO!

To a better day..

2008-06-25T00:44:00.004+08:00

Cause nothing's gonna stop me from smiling!

((;

I know, i know. I've been too caught up. I've been rejecting all the outings that's been held. I caused alot of disappointments. I apologise! And, i am so looking forward to this Saturday.

Nevertheless, Have a great day for the rest of the week! (:

That's the reason why i hate you so much.

2008-06-22T12:54:00.004+08:00

Believe it or not.
You saw me as a friend. I don't want revenge. But if you must know the truth. What you didn't see in me. That's what you'll never be. When you're telling me I always was the one, I see a differentiation. Because I told you, you would live to regret it. Now I don't wanna make you feel bad. But when it comes to me, just forget it. You put me through so many emotions. Now baby it's your turn for that. Cause in your empty heart I have left a mark. A painful one. I'm never gonna look back on Yesterday.

Now, what's wrong with having a bestfriend who is the opposite sex of yours? Okayy, maybe not bestfriend. Just a friend who will just send you a random greeting message and reminds you to smile. A friend who was always there to listen to my rants. A friend who will play an act along with me and my jokes. A friend who thinks that Live life to the fullest is so true. A friend who made me feel secure. A friend whom i can be myself whenever i'm with him. A friend whom i can trust. Is that particularly wrong?

So, all this while what was Trust to you? Where did it all gone to? I'll slap myself for giving that much trust to you. I don't know why am i typing all this here. I just had to leave a mark somewhere. A painful one. In just a short time, there you were. I'll just have to leave an impression that i'm having THE TIME OF MY LIFE! NEVER DID I EVER FELT SOOOO HAPPY THIS WAY! not. Run as far as you want. Cause you'll fall into the deep deep deep hole and helplessly wanting to fall back. It's Karma baby!

Before the randomness side of me starts, i would like to apologise (formal siakks!) to Amiza for not being able to attend to her birthday celebration. A big truly sorry to the babes cause i decided to back out on the very last minute. I could sense the disappointment there. Hope you Muchachas understands. Sorry, my bad. Next outing okayy? Heard it's next week. I'll try my best to make myself free and refrain from other important stuffs.

Fynn tagged me this. She specifically put my name there. The only one there. Christine had her doing this. Now i'm free from tagss! I actually did this on Thursday but only posting it now. Gulps!

01. What have you been doing recently?
don't bother asking cause you'll die of boredom! (haha!)

02. Do you ever turn you cell phone off?
I just did for a few days till yesterday.

03. What happened at 10.00am today?
Thinking why is my break time taking so long to come.

04. When did you last cry?
After the phonecall? (i think, or there's more after that? idk)

05. What is your favourite thing to eat with peanut butter?
I don't eat peanut butter.
Don't you know?

06. What do you want in your life right now?
$$ and more $$. And can i have You? (dream on!)

07. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains, or just put up your hood?
I'm a lazy person and i prefer hoodie on.

08. What’s your favourite thing to have on your bed?
I don't like toys on my bed.

09. What bottom are you wearing now?
Long pants from idk where.

10. What’s the nicest text in your inbox say?
"Gd Morning! Don't forget to smile ...." (to long to type)

11. Do you tend to make a relationship complicated?
i think i'm the one making it complicated cos i always keep quiet. (don't ask me why ass!)

12. Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?
Ya, my aunt's. (it's pants! and nothing else!)

13. What was the last movie you caught?
KUNG FU PANDA!

14. What are you proud of?
I CAUGHT THE SUNSET!

15. What does the oldest text message in your inbox say?
"..." (too saddening to type it out)

16. What was the last song you sang out loud?
Almost here.

17. Do you have any nicknames?
ALOT!

18. What does your last received text message say? Who was it from?
"Heyy.. Guess what ..." - My madrasah Friend.

19. What time did you go to bed last night?
12 am. (i think)

20. Are you currently happy?
is close to tears considered as happy? (NO!)

21. Who gives you best advice?
*EHEM*

22. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?
i can, but it's just that i don't want cause it's FATTENING & i'll VOMIT

23. Who did you talk on phone last night?
i can't remember when was the last time the phone rang, getting a call from anybody. (sad ah!?)

24. Is anything bugging you right now?
YES! ALOT OF THINGS! so much to do!

25. What/who was the last thing/person to make you laugh?
Tina Ho.

26. Do you wear toe socks?
Yes! (Cute aye!)

27. Who was the last person you missed a call from?
Tina Ho

28. Have you ever had your heartbroken?
errr, Yes?

29. What annoys you most in a person?
someone, but I LOVE HIM!

30. Do you have a crush on anyone?
*EHEM*

31. Have you ever done cocaine?
err, i can't remember. (HAHAHAHA)

32. What is the colour of your room?
i didn't bother to look.

33. Would you kill someone you hate for a billion dollar?
i might consider on who the person be.

34. Do you believe in the saying ‘talk is cheap’?
kinda.

35. Who was the last person to lie in your bed?
me?

36. Who was the last person to hug you?
I FORGOT

37. Did anyone see the last person you kissed?
err, i don't even remember the last time. A peck on the cheek for a baby considered one?

38. Do you have a life?
i wish i have! then what am i doing here?! (-.-")

39. Have you ever think someone died, when they really didn’t?
i don't even want to think about it la!

40. What is the reason behind your profile song?
How i really felt. (Gee, that's true!)

41. Who was the last person you saw in your dream?
DON'T ASK!

42. Last time you smiled?
Just awhile ago.

43. Have you changed this year?
i've got no more space for my clothes ya know!

44. What are you listening right now which ear?
back into you, on both ears?

45. Are you talking to someone when you doing this?
sadly, no.

I stopped here at school cause 6p ended. heh

46. Do you walk with your eyes open or closed?
stupid! how to walk without eyes open?

47. Is there a quote you live by?
Things changed, so do people!

48. Do you want someone you can’t have?
yes

49. Have you ever played an instrument?
ya

50. What was the worst idea you’ve had in week?
pon school whole week on the first week of school!

51. What were you doing last night at 11.00pm??
struggling to keep my eyes open.

52. Are you happy with your love life right now?
errr

53. What song best describe your love life?
i would like to list it but i'm lazy! (BAHHH!)

54. Does the person know that you like him/her?
i've got no idea about it!

55. Who always make you laugh?
anyone who knows me?

56. Do you speak other language other than English?
derrr!

57. Favourite website?
lazy to list!

58. What's your middle name?
forget ah!

59. What are you doing tomorrow?
bloody friday! drag myself to school. hopefully.

60. What do you think you are like?
if you know me, you'll know. (don't act like you know me!)

61. Who will you choose to die with?
i'm gonna die alone tmr

62. Where have you been today?
you don't want me to list my boring day here!

63. What game do you play often?
i slap you, you slap me counts?

64. Who are you missing right now?
wrong question dude!

65. If you’ve to choose between friend n loves, who will you choose?
don't ask me to choose!

66. What are you doing right now?
multitasking, but i wanna kill Fynn and Christine!

67. Which primary school are you from?
kranji

68. Name 3 colours that you like?
RED!, err black and err red?

69. What emotion you like to show?
i'll think about it.

70. What is your life to you?
live it to the fullest darling!

71. If you have something troubling you, what will you do?
I will tell everyone about it so everybody will be troubled too! yay~ (Fynn's! how evil)
I'll keep quiet and think (mine!)

72. Who did you last chat in msn today?
ABANG!

73. Who so you admire most?
not you obviously

74. Which month are you born in?
august! i want presents! :D

75. How are you feeling right now?
darn i've got loads to do!

76. What is the time now?
11.03PM

77. what kind of person do u think the one who tagged u is??
she's super random at times and most important thing i love her but i wanna kill her at the same time. how?

78. What colour did you use to dye hair?
red?

79. Why are you doing this test?
cos Fynn specifically tag to me! GRRR

80. What do you do when you’re moody?
listen to emo songs and keep quiet.

81. At which age you wish to get married?
career and enjoy first then talk.

82. Who is more important to you? Girlfriend or friends?
BOTH

83. If today is the last day of your life, what will you do?
tell someone how much i love him?

84. Who is the person you trust the most?
*EHEM*

85. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after a rain?
i saw a coupla of times

86. If you have a dream come true, what would it be?
money, love, family, friends and BIG BIG HOUSE.

87. What is your goal for this year?
how to set a goal when i started the year badly!?

88. Do you believe in eternity love?
show me?

89. What feeling do you love most?
the feeling of being loved!

90. Do you really think its Global Warming now?
isn't it obvious that the world is coming to an end?

91. What feeling you hate the most?
hating you

92. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
yes.

93. Do you believe in god?
yes.

94. Who cares for you most?
friends & family!

95. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
how i lead my life.

96. What will you bring when you fight?
satisfaction?

97. What have you done regretted doing in your whole life?
i telling myself not to regret it. How's that!?

98. What would you feel that on one no longer cares for you?
REVENGE TIMEEE!

99. What if your stead two-timed you?
leave him, cos obviously he doesn't love me RIGHT and he was just there physically?!

100.What do you want now?
finish this! then kill christine and fynn!

Okayy, i'm prolly done. For now i want...
#1 - a full $%^ of ^&@^*@#$^
#2 - Tinaaa! Ice creamm!
#3 - Caramel Kit Kat Chunky!
#4 - Milkk teaaa
#5 - Caramel Cream Frappeee!
#6 - Bungee jumpp!
#7 - A FULL $%^ OF ^&@^*@#$^

Just give me la can! GRRR. Back to work!

k bye

You're amazing, that captured my heart.

2008-06-19T14:31:00.005+08:00

"I'll dream of the past & wish that I was there
I am burning the letters of days gone by
I'm sorry, but I'm scared that my heart
will regret all the things that I've done."

I'll update soon. Strike 1 was all i need, the sunset was what i yearned for. Never will I get things back in the line again, though i've got what I need. Glad i did make it in time to watch the sun set. There's more, like i said i'll update soon. What i've been up to recently? Probably all you want to know is that i'm having the time of my life. Just so you know, it's just the surface. Fall into the hole, you'll know. Gee, living in fantasy was never in the list, but it was all fairytale that you've always dream of. Did you have a ball of time? I see money coming in and i hope it'll be all worth it. Today's a Thursday. It's my first day of school. Been skipping school since Monday. Obviously i've got trouble waking up. Kept snoozing the alarm till Dad had to wake me up. Anyone care to wake me up every morning without fail? No one! I miss being pampered. It feels so weird stepping into the school after such a long time. The urge to just pon is so tempting. But i managed to pull through. If not Fynn will slaughter me cause she claimed that she came to school so i won't be alone stepping into the class. How sweet! But poor her, i had to leave her alone to class for the past few days. :(

One of the worst feelings in the world;
Is knowing that, that special someone is still in your heart,
But you're not in theirs.

Did you hear "Oucchhh!"?
Oh yea, i did.

To a better day..

2008-06-11T02:23:00.003+08:00

3 more days and i'll say FINALLY!
Move faster! Faster! Faster!
And then, Goodbye it is.
Hello Sunshine! (:

Erm, when was the last time i err, err, nvm.

* I'm falling even more in love with you, letting go of all i've held onto. I'm standing here until you make me moveee *

I know it'll never happen.

2008-06-08T22:38:00.003+08:00

What if i fall for you all over again?
It's been the longest time.
Go on with your fantasy..

Then, what is True Friends? It differs in other's perspective. Is it as precious as it sounds? Encountering weird experiences really had me thinking. Welcome to the real world! For all you know, behind those smiles and laughters was just an act. Oh well, you do what you gotta do right?! How far would you go anyway? As far as till-death-will-do-us-apart kinda thing? So much of having big ego. Ya ya, just keep on denying. Just don't lie. Treasure it.

Oh well, some of the many pictures on last Sunday's company that i mentioned in the previous posts.

Fynn is angry cause she's hungry.

Don't ask how the 3 of us survived Fridays! Grrr

He can grab you by your neck and then knuckle your head while strangling you. Try that! Very the OUCH!

Sorry cause i'm a lazy bum who couldn't care less to upload the rest. Dad have been feeding me bananas cause i refuse to eat. Now, how to put Lifehouse's, Snow Patrol's songs inside a wedding video? Ah!

No words can describe it.

2008-06-05T00:58:00.004+08:00

Here goes.. Happy 18th to both of them (look above)! Okayy, a clearer picture of them.

Dearest Qistina,
Happy 18th darling. It's time to grow up (hehe).
Enough of those nonsense that you've been through.
Things will get better in time. Don't worry.
Let's move on and enjoy while we still can aye!
We'll meet up real soon cause i miss
disturbing you shawtyy! :D

And... Happy belated 18th Khai!
As for you, i've got nothing much to say
cause i'll end up with craps. Well, Khai and craps
goes together really well right? You must agree
with me on that. Just one thing, PLEASE stop
being a bastard. It's fun but it can hurt others too friend.
GROW UP YAW!

---------------------------------------------------------------

Enough of birthday wishes. I think i put alot of photos which are i must say kind of err, nevermind. I think i'll get my retribution on my birthday for posting photos which are err, nevermind. I need to get out of all this. Soon, yes soon. BOO!

The stars are lovely tonight.

2008-06-02T02:15:00.008+08:00

To this babe, i'm so so so sorry for the late wish. I wanted to wish her at the very last minute of first June, but it slipped my mind as i was busy hailing a cab to get back at the ungodly hour. Terribly sorry babe.

Anyway, Happy belated 18th Birthday babe!
I know you miss me :D Meetup next week alright,
after all your papers. Time to get a boyfriend
babe! I'll join you. Maybee, at popular? Haha.
For now, Good Luck! Hope you had a fun birthday!
Love ya!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I saw many stars just now. It was lovely! Really made my Sunday with the company. Thanks guys! It would have been better if only Norman was in Singapore, then i can meet up with Tina and the rest, right Fynn? I'll update soon with all the pictures and perhaps more words huh. It's been long.

The longest time..

Promise that i made.

2008-05-28T23:38:00.004+08:00

It's only 2 more days to endure but i feel like skipping school tomorrow. But Fynn will start nagging when she sees this. I think i've been procrastinating ALOT and i really need to change that. I think i've not been myself for i-don't-know-how-long. I think the pieces don't fit anymore. I think that it's gonna happen, so it's worth the wait. But i think it's not worth the show. And i think it's dumb. How saddening! It's a cryptic message, decipher it if you must. I think all this have no link at all.

I saw an 'F'.

Can i don't go to school tomorrow? Please?

:(

Please come fast!

2008-05-25T23:10:00.009+08:00

I've got loads to say but i can't say it out. Like i said previously, i want to type it out but when i open the page, all the words are jumbled up and i'll end up with nothing. Like now.. Grrr! Nevermind, i have pictures. Just let the pictures talk it all out alright.

Beware! A WHOLE load of pictures. If you think that this is gonna bore you to death, then i suggest you exit this page. Trust me.
Here goes..

The little, Little India trip. Sadly, Ida was not in the picture. Girls! I'm craving for thosai again! Ida is tooo! Soon again plssss?!

Then Rai's house we went to err do work and said hi to her Mum and stayed till late..Err ya.

Amal said i stand very the senget! boo!

The results in Networking class. My Artpiece, the wires. It freakingly worked! :D

So, i dragged Tina to have some ice cream as i was really really feeling so so DOWN!

And, i watched Brother performed. The peace sign just had to be there!

With some of his friends.

By the time it was already really late, but i decided to drop by and meet the rest of the family at the Birthday party of a lil boy.

The day when Amal just knew that i'm not schooling and she just had to drag me out every Wednesday just to make me happy with Hotcakes for breakfast. (Amal must be happy when she read this! lol) Khai had to make me pissed! I'm so gonna remember that! Met the rest for some crapping sessions!

The belt comp! I didn't realise it till i saw the pic. Obviously Ayun won! -.-

The weekends was well spent. Decided to head to Cousin's on that night and stayed over.

1 more week to endure, then here comes June.. After June, July then August! Yeay! But still, June comes first. 1 more month to the GateAway! I think i bore people too much already. I see the sun calling me! Okok i better stop ranting.. Hahaaa.

Swensen's twice a week is really killing me laaa.. :( But it makes me happy too! :)

Oh! It's you i see!

2008-05-23T22:35:00.005+08:00

When revenge is sweet
and when absence makes the heart grows fonder,
it'll be nice to have one but it hurts to lose one.
That results in dysfunctional.

So, how did it go?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Let's sidetrack a lil bit.

Happy 18th Birthday babe!
Let's make a resolution together to
save up! :D
We'll make it.
Sorry that we weren't there to
celebrate your birthday.
We'll make it up soon alright!
Love ya my shopping buddy!
Hope you had a great celebrations with your loved ones.

Will you ever forgive me?

2008-05-21T01:02:00.006+08:00

I want to blog but once i open the page, i can't type anything. :(

I miss you and if you're my friend, then why am i here alone?
Define Friends for me.

Don't leave me hanging darling..

2008-05-19T22:12:00.010+08:00

I know there's something deep down inside you that you wished i knew.
Tell me please.
Don't leave me hanging.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

ps: Ida, go for the rectangle, black and gold! The round one is so round.

Look at the picture above, Beautiful kann! (with a capital B!) I'm gonna try this. I WILL try to save up as i've been spending on things like waterfall. For now, any kind souls please? I love you many many! :D

it's what's beneath the heart now

2008-05-13T00:56:00.003+08:00

I guess by turning our backs on these other people, we thought we could fix it ourselves. Maybe other people aren't the problem, maybe we changed. And at what point did we admit, that no matter how much we wanted and how hard we try. Sadly it's just not working.

Sorry, that was some emo-shitts.

Ahh!

It's what is there beneath the heart now.

Splurge!

2008-05-11T00:10:00.004+08:00

The Little one.. Accompanied me throughout those times.

Being a kpo one, he just had to sneak in.

The crazy people who made me laugh and the one who will go, #%$#%^#$% damn you codes!

Went to have some sinful fondue before the splurging starts.

They saw how i splurge! And they couldn't stop me! Somebody help!?

And now, i get easily irritated even with little things. It gets terrible day by day and it's not good at all. Grrr. I've been spending like err waterfall flowing? Ya, like that. I've gotta save up! I'll try. I feel like having ice cream now. For now, maybe i'll just have some kitkat caramel. :( I'm thinking of red psp now, should i Fynn? Nonono, save for The Gateaway.

Sometimes, i thought that it was just a mistake we wished we didn't make. But what's done can't be undone. It's not too late to apologise. It's just a matter of courage and how determined you are to save it. Initiative needs to be taken. I've got such big ego to hit those pins. It was the best performance anyway. Well said, and err done? No? I think it can be better. It's really a horrible feeling to get the puzzles back together. It's been broken badly, only if the first aid kit was handy, perhaps the wound wouldn't be that terrible. Things will get out of hand if there are others standing in your way. When this happens, what did you do to kill those cold nights? Maybe following your heart might help.

One more thing.. Err, actually 2.

Happy 18th, Yatt!

Happy Belated 19th, Fatin! (Sorry, if i'm really late)

Hope that you both had a great birthday. Sorry i, or rather we, weren't there to really celebrate with you babes.

Fatin muke lawa ehh! Haha. You are not gonna whack me right for this? Hah

Yawns

2008-05-05T01:26:00.004+08:00

Say what you need to say? Yes, please do. Anyway, life's full of challenges huh. There's will be chances that you'll fall at times. How interesting is that! Mid week, come fast darling! Okayy, battery's running low, someone just had to keep nudging me to halau me to bed. K bye

Gee, life's good!

2008-05-04T00:02:00.004+08:00

Did something a little different today. Just that some things are worth the risks at times. I can't wait for mid week! It's been long since i last watched a movie. Feel like dragging the cousins out for midnight, but all having exams tomorrow. Boohoo! I've got to start studying and projects are like piling up. Somebody start pushing me or i'll be down the drain soon. Nasha just had to tempt me to pon school on Monday. I won't ok! That's enough of me blabbering. I'll be somewhere else meanwhile.

Gee, life's better now right? Glad to hear that. Enjoy it while you can cause you'll be down the slope in a while. Don't come back for help then alright. Slap yourself? (: